I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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