so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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