dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hello my rib-scented angel!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
