News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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