I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
