Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
