I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I am one with the molecules
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
