i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
