Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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