If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
