I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
