We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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