i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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