My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize