I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
As shirtless as possible
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
