I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
