idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
