I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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