Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm both gender and math confused
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
