I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and she was petting her beer can
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize