I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
