Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
two words...techno handjob
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
