So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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