I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
