Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
