Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
