She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
