your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
