I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
