Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
