I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
