playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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