I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
