i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
