let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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