What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
