i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
