The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
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come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked