Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
