i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.