recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?