Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.