Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
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I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
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It is literally 8 in the morning.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??