we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
