smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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