Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
