My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
