i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
