I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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