Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He did a backflip because drugs
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
