have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You are the jesus of drinking
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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