I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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