I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
