it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
