using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Your cock deserves a montage
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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