Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
