I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
