I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
