Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
