Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
