I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
