She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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