Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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