Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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