i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.