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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.

  Fav 27 11731 1860

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (331): View more from Illinois

  DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I love it when he cheats on me with nice people

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I need to sanitize my soul.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.

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