quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize