Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
