Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass