You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize